Well, after the student has learned the sex of a great number of nouns, he is still in a difficulty, because he finds it impossible to persuade his tongue to refer to things as "he" and "she," and "him" and "her," which it has been always accustomed to refer to it as "it." Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known to you and me as Mark Twain, also threw himself into die schöne deutsche Sprache. I am still waiting. "The Awful German Language" is Mark Twain’s humorous account of his frustrations with the German language. That is manifestly absurd. Quotations by Mark Twain, American Writer, Born November 30, 1835. Fourthly, I would reorganize the sexes, and distribute them accordingly to the will of the creator. I consider this capitalizing of nouns a good idea, because by reason of it you are almost always able to tell a noun the minute you see it. Here is an example which I culled from a novel and reduced to English: However, it is not well to dwell too much on the separable verbs. Mark Twain was born Samuel Langhorne Clemens on November 30, 1835, in the frontier village of Florida, Missouri. “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.” “There are no regrets in life, just lessons.”- Jennifer Aniston “I think regret is useless in life. “I had a couple of light minor purposes, also: to acquire the German language, and to perfect myself in Art,” he wrote. Strictly speaking, Zug means Pull, Tug, Draught, Procession, March, Progress, Flight, Direction, Expedition, Train, Caravan, Passage, Stroke, Touch, Line, Flourish, Trait of Character, Feature, Lineament, Chess-move, Organ-stop, Team, Whiff, Bias, Drawer, Propensity, Inhalation, Disposition: but that thing which it does not mean -- when all its legitimate pennants have been hung on, has not been discovered yet. That shows that the sound of the words is correct -- it interprets the meanings with truth and with exactness; and so the ear is informed, and through the ear, the heart. Think you know Germany? It is wiser to find out than suppose. They are, therefore, an offense, and should be discarded. I have now named what I regard as the most necessary and important changes. Yet even the German books are not entirely free from attacks of the Parenthesis distemper -- though they are usually so mild as to cover only a few lines, and therefore when you at last get down to the verb it carries some meaning to your mind because you are able to remember a good deal of what has gone before. Here are a few tips for living an awesome life from Mark Twain . Also! A German speaks of an Englishman as the Engländer; to change the sex, he adds inn, and that stands for Englishwoman -- Engländerinn. Mark Twain’s father died when Twain was eleven years old. A Wife, here, has no sex; she is neuter; so, according to the grammar, a fish ishe, his scales are she, but a fishwife is neither. The Awful German Language by Mark Twain A little learning makes the whole world kin. Mark Twain … The German word for hell -- Hölle -- sounds more like helly than anything else; therefore, how necessary chipper, frivolous, and unimpressive it is. Therefore, it is either der (the) Regen, or die (the) Regen, or das (the) Regen, according to which gender it may turn out to be when I look. It reminds a person of those dentists who secure your instant and breathless interest in a tooth by taking a grip on it with the forceps, and then stand there and drawl through a tedious anecdote before they give the dreaded jerk. It has ceased from its Sufferings, it has gone to a better Land; all that is left of it for its loved Ones to lament over, is this poor smoldering Ash-heap. See what's happening around town RIGHT NOW! This item is dated away back yonder months ago. When I was girding up my loins to doubt this, I found out that Tannenwald in this instance was a man's name. Or would not a consumptive feel too much bundled up, who was about to go out, in a shirt-collar and a seal-ring, into a storm which the bird-song wordGewitter was employed to describe? Mark Twain hat in seinem Buch "A … Mark Twain (*1835 - †1910) „Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.“ Anhören „Leben ist das, was passiert, während du eifrig dabei bist, andere Pläne zu machen.“ Allen Saunders (*1899 - †1986) „Life isn't about finding yourself. https://www.thoughtco.com/religion-quotes-by-mark-twain-2832666 That is a case of really unjustifiable compounding; because it not only saves no time or trouble, but confers a title on Mrs. Johnson which she has no right to. For instance, those which describe lowly, peaceful, and affectionate home life; those which deal with love, in any and all forms, from mere kindly feeling and honest good will toward the passing stranger, clear up to courtship; those which deal with outdoor Nature, in its softest and loveliest aspects -- with meadows and forests, and birds and flowers, the fragrance and sunshine of summer, and the moonlight of peaceful winter nights; in a word, those which deal with any and all forms of rest, repose, and peace; those also which deal with the creatures and marvels of fairyland; and lastly and chiefly, in those words which express pathos, is the language surpassingly rich and affective. I begin at the wrong end, necessarily, for that is the German idea. Zitate und Sprüche von Mark Twain ... Eine Lüge ist bereits dreimal um die Erde gelaufen, bevor sich die Wahrheit die Schuhe anzieht. Share with your friends. Twain decided a change of scenery would help and booked a 16-month trip to Europe with his family. Those struggling with the language are not alone; people have been doing for centuries, including one of the most famous writers of all time. Further reading: 35 Life-Changing Lessons to Learn from Mark Twain – Purpose Fairy; Once you learn these 10 lessons from Mark Twain, you’ll live a kick-ass life – Ideapod But these little instances are trifles indeed, contrasted with the ponderous and dismal German system of piling jumbled compounds together. So, as an added e often signifies the plural, as the s does with us, the new student is likely to go on for a month making twins out of a Dative dog before he discovers his mistake; and on the other hand, many a new student who could ill afford loss, has bought and paid for two dogs and only got one of them, because he ignorantly bought that dog in the Dative singular when he really supposed he was talking plural -- which left the law on the seller's side, of course, by the strict rules of grammar, and therefore a suit for recovery could not lie. Because sie sind hier zusammengetroffen, in Bruderlichem concord, ein grossen Tag zu feirn, whose high benefits were not for one land and one locality, but have conferred a measure of good upon all lands that know liberty today, and love it. We have the Parenthesis disease in our literature, too; and one may see cases of it every day in our books and newspapers: but with us it is the mark and sign of an unpracticed writer or a cloudy intellect, whereas with the Germans it is doubtless the mark and sign of a practiced pen and of the presence of that sort of luminous intellectual fog which stands for clearness among these people. It was only the sound that helped him, not the meaning; [3] and so, at last, when he learned that the emphasis was not on the first syllable, his only stay and support was gone, and he faded away and died. Mark Twain, the writer, adventurer and wily social critic born Samuel Clemens, wrote the novels 'Adventures of Tom Sawyer' and 'Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.’ : Volume 1 is 712 pages, not including the index. There are three-quarters of a column of Schlags in the dictionary, and a column and a half of Zugs. They are compound words with the hyphens left out. Clemens was eleven years old when his lawyer father died. Mark Twain war zwar Schriftsteller (und hat Satiren und Jugendbücher geschrieben), aber ihn auch als Komiker zu bezeichnen geht an der Sache vorbei. Therefore, it is either der (the) Regen, or die (the) Regen, or das (the) Regen, according to which gender it may turn out to be when I look. By Keith Archibald Forbes (see About Us). Thirdly, I would import some strong words from the English tongue -- to swear with, and also to use in describing all sorts of vigorous things in a vigorous ways. 2547 quotes from Mark Twain: 'If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. atrium-design.sk. You may die of a misprint.” Unsourced in POP! Catch the trade winds in your sails. Nothing gives such an air of grace and elegance and unconstraint to a German or an English conversation as to scatter it full of "Also's" or "You knows.". See how it looks in print -- I translate this from a conversation in one of the best of the German Sunday-school books: To continue with the German genders: a tree is male, its buds are female, its leaves are neuter; horses are sexless, dogs are male, cats are female -- tomcats included, of course; a person's mouth, neck, bosom, elbows, fingers, nails, feet, and body are of the male sex, and his head is male or neuter according to the word selected to signify it, and not according to the sex of the individual who wears it -- for in Germany all the women either male heads or sexless ones; a person's nose, lips, shoulders, breast, hands, and toes are of the female sex; and his hair, ears, eyes, chin, legs, knees, heart, and conscience haven't any sex at all. I consider that that person is over-described. We used to have a good deal of this sort of crime in our literature, but it has gone out now. Most people in Britain, Canada, Europe, USA and elsewhere appreciate the writings of Samuel Langhorne Clemens otherwise known as Mark Twain. Life is too short to learn German. Some of these people may understand English." Dream. Also! Mark Twain in 1863, taken on his first visit to San Francisco. In German, all the Nouns begin with a capital letter. Every time I think I have got one of these four confusing "cases" where I am master of it, a seemingly insignificant preposition intrudes itself into my sentence, clothed with an awful and unsuspected power, and crumbles the ground from under me. An average sentence, in a German newspaper, is a sublime and impressive curiosity; it occupies a quarter of a column; it contains all the ten parts of speech -- not in regular order, but mixed; it is built mainly of compound words constructed by the writer on the spot, and not to be found in any dictionary -- six or seven words compacted into one, without joint or seam -- that is, without hyphens; it treats of fourteen or fifteen different subjects, each inclosed in a parenthesis of its own, with here and there extra parentheses which reinclose three or four of the minor parentheses, making pens within pens: finally, all the parentheses and reparentheses are massed together between a couple of king-parentheses, one of which is placed in the first line of the majestic sentence and the other in the middle of the last line of it -- after which comes the VERB, and you find out for the first time what the man has been talking about; and after the verb -- merely by way of ornament, as far as I can make out -- the writer shovels in "haben sind gewesen gehabt haben geworden sein," or words to that effect, and the monument is finished. Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known worldwide by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author who wrote some of the most famous works of the twentieth century including Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which is referred to as the Great American Novel.Twain had an interesting life during which he worked as a steamboat pilot, served as a Confederate soldier, mined in … I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective. There are people in the world who will take a great deal of trouble to point out the faults in a religion or a language, and then go blandly about their business without suggesting any remedy. Now, by the above dissection, the reader will see that in Germany a man may think he is a man, but when he comes to look into the matter closely, he is bound to have his doubts; he finds that in sober truth he is a most ridiculous mixture; and if he ends by trying to comfort himself with the thought that he can at least depend on a third of this mess as being manly and masculine, the humiliating second thought will quickly remind him that in this respect he is no better off than any woman or cow in the land.

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